The 27 Rules of Conquering the Gym, by the Wall Street Journal’s Jason Gay

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14. You can take 10 Minute Abs, 20 Minute Abs, and 30 Minute Abs. There is also Stop Eating Pizza and Eating Sheet Cake Abs—but that’s super tough!

25. Fact: Thinking about going to the gym burns between 0 and 0 calories.

Oh, come on…you know you wanna!